I Doubt You Want to Hear

  

                I Doubt You Want to Hear

    
                       I doubt you want to hear about
                        The Tome I found in my attic
                        How I read a few words, and
                        Now my dog's acting erratic.

                       I doubt you want to hear about
                       The strange noises under my bed.
                       How a hand taps at my window,
                       All gooey and bloody red.

                       I doubt you want to hear about
                       The giant ants raiding my fridge.
                       How they stole most my food
                       And ate my parakeet Midge.

                       I doubt you want to hear about
                       A visiting cat with a fiery tail.
                       How it set fire to my room
                       And drop down blazing hail.

                       I doubt you want to hear about
                       The red eyes glowing in my closet.
                       How blue mice with green tails
                       Stole my gold coins and locket.

                       I doubt you want to hear about
                       The monsters infesting my sock drawers.
                       How they track mud and dirt
                       All over my nice clean floors.

                       I doubt you want to hear about
                       The witch that crawls up my kitchen drain.
                       How she threatens to turn me
                       Inside out and steal away my brain.

                       I doubt you want to hear about
                       The latest predicament I'm in,
                       Involving a tall, faceless guy
                       And a kid with a grin.

                       You think the things I willingly tell
                       Are so very phony,
                       Unlike your favorite show
                       Which is My Little Pony.